In Love But My Ex Isnt- Communicate Key To Finding Answers

Love is a wonderful thing, but it can also be the source of a lot of problems. You can always live with some of the negative stuff, because love has a way of letting us overlook some of those things. All of that is perfectly normal. Unfortunately, relationships can end in a break up. Even if one of you is in love, the other may not be in love at all, or at least not enough to want to stay together. If you find yourself saying, "I'm in love, but my ex isn't" then you know how hard this type of situation can be.




Sure, being together was great...for a while. Maybe the break up happened suddenly, and caught you completely off guard. Or maybe you started seeing little cracks in the relationship but hoped they would go away or be fixed. Either way, you are now in a position you really don't want to be in.

Not so fast! You need to be cautious here. You have to make sure you are not making assumptions. You may have broke up, but you only broke up. That doesn't automatically mean that your doesn't--or never will--have feelings for you. There are a lot of reasons why break ups happen. For example, it's entirely possible that your ex broke up with you because they were loving you too deeply, and that scared them.

So, you need to find out how your ex really feels before you can say "I'm in love, but my ex isn't". It's all too easy to think you know how they feel because your emotions will be a bit out of kilter after a break. That means you could be misreading any signals they are trying to send your way. That's why it's so important to find out how they feel from them personally.

While you will want to talk to your ex about how they feel, you don't want to do it too soon. You have to give them enough time to settle down and come to terms with what has happened. Remember, the break up isn't any fun for them either. And, who knows, maybe they're saying, "I'm in love, but my ex isn't" as well. But you will never know for sure unless you ask them.

Chocolate Apples

How long you should wait before approaching them is up to you. In other words, you should know your ex better than anyone else, so you should have a pretty good idea of how much time they will need to come to grips with things. However, it's a good idea to err on the side of caution and give them a few more days than you think they need before approaching them for the first time.

As you can see, thinking thoughts like "I'm in love, but my ex isn't" doesnt help anything. They are nothing more than assumptions until you find out for sure. Assumptions that can make you miserable for no reason. But you don't have to be miserable, and could actually end up being happily together again, if you simply ask your ex how they really feel.

The material contained in this and any other communication from Monica Watts Hopkins-Baldwin is an expression of opinion and is not to be construed as legal, medical or professional advice. This material may only to be used for personal entertainment purposes.

Live In A Wife Led Relationship

Live In A Wife Led Relationship





What is a wife led relationship? Sure there may be times when you simply agree to your wife's decisions (often to stop her nagging) but that isn't typically what is referred to as a wife led relationship. This type of relationship is more when the wife becomes the dominant partner and the husband is completely submissive.

There are different degrees to wife led relationships with some having the wife only mildly dominant and perhaps only in certain circumstances. Then there are the more severe situations when the man is like a slave to the woman and does everything she requests. The man will make no decisions whatsoever regarding anything in the relationship or the home; it will all be done by the woman. The man will basically be a slave to the woman. They will appear reasonably normal in public but you will still find that the woman is making the decisions.

Some men actually like being the submissive one in the relationship and may find themselves not being as submissive as they like because the wife isn't all that comfortable with it. In a lesser degree of being submissive a man may just hand over the major decision making to his wife but still have some control himself.

Although some women enjoy being the dominant party, some women will find it very off putting, particularly if you are asking her to be the fully dominant partner, which is what a true wife led relationship is. The man is a slave to the woman and will do everything for her.

The man will do all the chores, cleaning and cooking around the house and she may bark out orders to him and he will run and do them. Although she may want to help out around the house, men that like this type of relationship will want her to expect him to do it all. They enjoy being treated like a slave.

In a wife led relationship the woman has complete control over their sexual relationship also. The man will actually expect her to use sex as a reward for completing his chores or even as a punishment when he doesn't please her. If a woman does a chore in the home the man may be disappointed because he cannot do that chore himself and be rewarded for it.

If the wife is please with her husband’s performance with his chores then she will reward him by pleasing him sexually and this is what the man looks forward to. However, if she is not happy with her husband’s work around the home then she may deny him pleasure of his own while he has to please her and give her pleasure.

Some men will like the sexual side of a wife led relationship and even enjoy when pleasure is withheld as it makes it more exciting when they are rewarded next. Other men aren't as interested in the sexual enjoyment of a wife led relationship but just like the idea of the woman being the dominant partner and making the decisions.

If you think you would like to try a wife led relationship then certainly discuss the idea with your wife. She may be pleased to join in if you are offering to do more around the home but be prepared for her to treat you like a slave.

You can give it a test run and see how it goes and if you both enjoy it then you might continue to have an enjoyable wife led relationship.

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Monica Watts-Hopkins,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA
Contact Sites!http://www.premarriage.com

Professional Counseling Dual Doctorate UIMM Liberty University Student

Relationship Psychology Makes Things Better

The perfect relationship. Nothing goes wrong. Both of you are perfectly happy all the time. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
While we may wish for it, it simply doesn't exist. To be honest, it's the imperfections that make being together so interesting. Perhaps that's why relationship psychology is such a popular subject. One of the ways a lot of people use it is to patch things up when they get rocky, or even after a break up has happened.

The general principle behind relationship psychology is to teach both partners to recognize certain behaviors in themselves and the other person, and to arm them with effective ways of handling problems when they arise. The reason it's important to learn about it is that no two people are alike. It's typical for people to think other people think like them. In other words, they project their own point of view onto the other person, and then get frustrated when that person acts in a way that doesn't line up with their pre-conceived notions.

A large part of the problem is that the sexes tend to think so much differently from one another. For example, men tend to place more emphasis on actions. So, when a woman keeps insisting on talking things out, the man will try to avoid it. And if they can't avoid, they usually won't enjoy it. But, the catch is that women, generally speaking, do need to talk about things. Relationship psychology takes care of that problem by using this information and finding a solution that makes both parties happy.

You may not be able to have a perfect relationship, but what if you could have a happy one with virtually no arguing; where both of you feel fulfilled; where both of you feel loved and freely give love. It's not impossible. Sure, it can take some time to learn these new techniques, but it's more than worth it when you start seeing the results.

But what if you are trying to get your ex back? Psychology still works! The key is to try to get back together, but to do it in a way that's not too pushy. If you try to hard, your ex may pull even further back, and you could ruin any chances of working things out that you may have had. Knowing how your ex's mind works will give you the edge you need to get them back.

Now, you shouldn't use relationship psychology lightly, or for the wrong reasons. It's powerful stuff, and you are dealing with somebody else's life. That being said, as long as your motivations are pure, then there is nothing wrong with learning and using these tricks so the two of you can be happy together.

Having somebody special in your life is essential to being completely happy. There are times when it will take a lot of work, and other times things will be running smoothly. Either way, you can put the power of relationship psychology to work for you.


Monica Watts-Hopkins,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA
Contact Sites!
http://www.premarriage.com

If you Fake It the Relationship Wont Make It!!

DON'T PRETEND EVERYTHING'S OKAY

The default mode for most of us women -- especially when we are very interested in a man -- is to simply put up with what's happening and stuff down our feelings for fear of scaring him away.

You're also more prone to doing this when you've had a string of unsuccessful relationships.

The older you get and the more heartbreak you endure, the more you want to "not mess this up" -- and so you keep quiet.

You keep it "under wraps" -- even when you're seething with anger.

You say "sure!" when he suggests something you really don't feel comfortable doing.

You pretend it doesn't bother you when he isn't giving you the time and affection you need.

But doing this actually prevents you from connecting with a man and forging a deeper relationship with him!

Why?

Because he never gets to see what makes you tick.

He never gets to see -- or EXPERIENCE -- what makes you YOU.

Not just that, but the longer you go without speaking your feelings, the more you start to resent your man.

And then you start unconsciously becoming "cold" to him in a way that he can sense...and this in turn pushes him away.

DON'T MAKE HIM WRONG
Often, and especially when we've been swallowing whatever it is that's bothering us about a man, we'll end up simmering with so much anger that one day we just can't take it.

That's when, despite our best efforts, our emotions take over and everything comes out in an explosion of feelings.

What comes out is often something that sounds like an accusation to him: "How could you have spent the whole weekend with me and then not called for two whole days?!"

All he hears is that he was wrong. That's when he becomes defensive, shuts down, and can't hear you anymore.

That's also when, unfortunately, we end up with a man who becomes distant from us or pulls away altogether.

We're left holding all the cards, feeling awful, and thinking we're entirely to blame and can't make relationships work.

There's a much better way...


DO SPEAK YOUR FEELINGS AND ISSUE THE "MAGIC PHRASE"

Once you learn this, it will save you so much heartache and frustration.

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Monica Tell Me more cLICK HERE

Monica Watts-Hopkins,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA
Contact Sites!
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Breakup 2 Makeup-Is There Such A Thing

Best Way Reuniting After A Breakup - Is There Such A Thing



Many of us get dumped and we're really not ready for the relationship to be over. In some cases we are the ones who do the dumping only to have regrets after a little time has passed. Whatever the situation is, here is the best way reuniting after a breakup.

I know some of this information can seem counter intuitive, but this method has helped thousands, maybe more, of couples reunite and after all, you don't have anything to lose at this point, do you?

So, I'll break it down in more detail and give you a step by step breakdown of just what you need to do:

1. First of all, make sure you really want to get back with your ex. Sometimes we lose sight of whether or not we really should stay in the relationship. We might feel lonely or sometimes our ego can get in the way. But make sure that the relationship is something that you should really continue with.

2. Second of all, make sure you allow your ex some time and space away from you. This is the part that will seem counter intuitive, but think about it like this; if you are still in your exes life because you are sending them texts or calling them all the time, you are still in there life.

How can they miss you and regret the decision to break up with you if you're still around? They can't. You will start to seem like a nuisance at best or a pathetic stalker at worst. Neither one of those things will make you seem irresistible to your ex.

Back off and give them time to miss you and time to breathe.

3. Fix you so when you and your ex do get back together you won't just make all the same mistakes all over again. I don't know who was most at fault for the breakup, but I do know that no one is perfect and there are always some things you can improve on. Why not start now?

The worst that can happen is that you are a better person for your next relationship.

3. Once you've completed steps one and two (and several weeks, at least, should have gone by now) contact your ex. Don't sound desperate or confrontational, just be causal and friendly and try to get together with them. By now they have missed you and if you don't make it sound like you want to badger them, they will most likely be curious about what you are up to.

During this get together, keep it easy and friendly. Laugh and joke and don't talk about getting back together. Just have fun and remind them of the good times you two used to share.

At this point it's very likely that your ex will ask you to get back together, at least it's a start in the right direction. Following these steps is the best way reuniting after a breakup, if you follow them.

Tell Me More Monica

Monica Watts-Hopkins,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA
Contact Sites!http://www.premarriage.com

http://www.premarriage.com/locate_educator.php

http://Therapists.PsychologyToday.com/rms/91210

Just what is the remedy for a broken heart

The Remedy For A Broken Heart



Unless you have been lucky, you have probably been badly hurt when a relationship ended. Just what is the remedy for a broken heart?

Your first step is to see if your relationship can be salvaged. Sometimes in the heat of the situation we can do things we later regret. Perhaps you dumped your other half but now think you were too hasty. Why not see will he or she take you back? It is worth apologising and asking for another chance if you feel this person is your significant other.

It may be that you both said things that you regret. Often couples can come under severe stress due to financial worries, concerns over children, health and not to mention job related stress. Consequently resulting in unfair treatment to one another, which then leads to the possible breakup. Evaluate if this is one of the primary problems and then determine if your relationship is worth saving. If it is you can go to counselling for unbiased help and advice. It is worth a shot as getting back together with your loved one is a very good remedy for a broken heart.

Sometimes though a relationship ends and it is final. Yes, you will feel like you could never be happy again but with time your feelings will change. Treat the period after a difficult breakup exactly like you would if that person had died. Allow yourself time to grieve for what you have lost; but then acknowledge it is time to move on.

You need to look after yourself. Why not take that holiday you always wanted or go visit some family and friends. Make changes to your daily routine. Your life will be different now so instead of approaching it with fear, grab this opportunity with both hands. Who knows, something or someone better may just be around that next corner.

I do not believe that we only have one soul mate in life. Sure partners who meet when they are teenagers and are still together in their eighties are great. But there are other twosomes out there who may have made mistakes in their respective pasts, but have now found happiness again. We change as people as we travel through the journey of life. Sometimes our significant other changes as well and as a couple we adapt and stick together. Often though, we find we want different things and while you may be heartbroken at first, you may ultimately be happier with someone else or even on your own.

If you find that your heartbreak is overwhelming, please speak to someone. There are plenty of counsellors and charities that help those who are suffering from a broken heart. Consider helping others as well. When we go and visit sick people in hospital, help out at a children’s school or visit elderly neighbours, we often forget about our own problems.

It is very easy to wallow in feelings of sadness, but that will only breed despair. Life is too short to be miserable. You have complete control over your feelings. So get out there and find yourself the best remedy for a broken heart.
Monica Watts-Hopkins,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA
Contact Sites!
http://www.premarriage.com

Im an Invincible Dragonfly, Symbol of Wealth and Happiness

When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade!But I know that life can be tough and never more so than right now when every time you turn on the TV or glance at a newspaper you're bombarded by messages of doom and gloom from the media.
It's all too easy to let the general negativity get to you and before you know it, even you are starting to believe that there's no way to protect yourself from the hard times that the 'powers that be' are assuring us are already here. And once you give in to this kind of 'what's the point' thought pattern, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You Must Never Allow Yourself to Give in to NegativityFor example, you've a bad day at work. Maybe the boss yells at you because she's under pressure to perform. Your commute is tiring and frustrating. And when you get home it's only to find a pile of bills in the mail box and an empty refrigerator!
sometimes all it takes is a few days like this before your attitude takes a turn for the worse. Soon you're not only anticipating negative news every time you stick your head out from under the bedclothes, but, lo and behold, this is what you actually get because the Universe delivers what you expect!

Im an Invincible Dragonfly, Symbol of Wealth and HappinessJapan was once known as 'Akitsushima' or 'Land of the Dragonflies' and it's such an inspiring symbol of wealth and power that the Dragonfly is still Japan's national emblem. The Dragonfly represents renewal after great hardship. Indeed there's no better illustration of powerful regeneration than Japan's transformation from the defeat and destruction of World War II to the prosperous, secure and peaceful nation of today. Even in the face of extreme natural disasters like earthquakes and tsunamis, the Japanese people, with their belief in the power of the dragonfly, are resilient and keep their energy positive in order to move forward to successful outcomes.

So great was the belief that the Dragonfly had the power to bring success and prosperity that the mighty Samurai warriors decorated their armor with images of the Dragonfly. Even today, Japanese farmers believe that an abundance of Dragonflies in their rice fields means they can expect an equally abundant harvest.

This wonderful Japanese legend illustrates just why the Dragonfly is such a revered symbol of good fortune.
Monica WHB,MpsyD-c, FLE, BSHA,OM
Contact Sites!
http://Therapists.PsychologyToday.com/rms/91210
http://www.premarriage.com