A Divorce Article That Will Give You The Best Tips

A Divorce Article That Will Give You The Best Tips

A divorce, regardless of whether or not it is on good terms or bad, can be a costly and traumatic experience. Neither side are likely to come to an easy agreement and it can be dragged out, cause grief for everyone involved. However if you can come to agreements and end it quickly, you can save everyone a lot of grief.

There are a lot of a divorce article out there that can give you advice and help you get through your divorce. They can come in a wide range of topics to help you with virtually any problem you might have. This one will list five things you can do to avoid grief in a divorce.

1. Avoid involving children. If you have kids you probably love them dearly and want what is best for them. However divorces often bring out our ugly side and parents find themselves dragging their kids into the divorce. The most common way kids are involved is by trying to get them to pick sides. Both parents trying to turn the kids against the other parent. This is the worst thing you can do for your children and you must not do it under any circumstance.

Kids are impressionable and by dragging them through this can cause a very traumatic scar that will be with them for the rest of their lives. As bitter as you are with your spouse, it is best to try to maintain a stable atmosphere for your kids. At the very least you should be able to set aside problems with your spouse for your kid's sake.

2. Making demands. Another thing a divorce article might cover is how you lay down demands for your spouse. People will use divorces as an excuse to exact revenge for whatever mis-deeds they feel their spouse has committed. You should avoid doing this, even if your divorce is bitter and your marriage not the best, it is advisable that you make fair agreements and allow both parties to have a fair amount.

3. Communicating with your spouse. Communication is important, just not between you and your spouse. Avoiding contact is best during a divorce, only talking through your lawyers, or when your lawyers are present. This is mostly for legal reasons since if you agree to something your spouse says, they can use that in court and screw you over. So it is best to only talk with a lawyer present.

4. Keep good records. Maintaining good records is important in a divorce, and any legal affair for that matter. You should keep a record of finances to protect yourself as well as dealing with any shared accounts so your spouse can not just take all of the money, leaving you with nothing.

5. Decide things with your lawyer. The last and most important thing a divorce article can tell you is to talk with your lawyer and come to decisions with them. Your lawyer is there to protect you and your assets during a divorce so make sure to always consult with your lawyer before taking action.

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 As a Metaphysician with a Christian religious background and Philanthropist, I understand the practice of charity goes back bibically serving those in need. However daily people close their eyes not to address issues such as the tragic Haiti earthquake psychological effects years later or perhaps a church member suffering, very often the poverty and oppression are over looked, but the Bible reminds us that they are always on GOD mind, The Bible passages demonstrate various of concerns with the poor or suffering that a few of the 300 passages can be found on a Meet The Poor Blog http://www.zompist.com/meetthepoor.html:p

1.         Consequences of not serving the poor, there are blessings for those who serve the poor, there are consequences for those who oppress them... or who simply ignore them.

Is. 10:1-3. "Woe to those who enact evil statutes and to those who continually record unjust decisions, so as to deprive the needy of justice, and rob the poor of my people of their rights... Now what will you do in the day of punishment, and in the devastation which will come from afar?"

2.         Blessings on those who serve the poor, serving poor may be The Right Thing to Do; but the Bible also associates it with material and spiritual reward. Here we'll look at the benefits promised to those who serve the poor; in the next section we'll examine the consequences of not doing so. Prov. 22:9 He who is generous will be blessed, for he gives some of his food to the poor.

3.         God's commands concerning the poor this section collects some specific commands from Old and New Testaments on serving the poor.

Deut. 26:5-9. The Egyptians treated us harshly and afflicted us, and imposed hard labor on us. Then we cried to the LORD, the God of our fathers, and the LORD heard our voice and saw our affliction and our toil and our oppression; and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm and with great terror and with signs and wonders; and He has brought us to... this land flowing with milk and honey

                           Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.                                         

References

1The Bible on the Poor. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.zompist.com/meetthepoor.html

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Making The Most Of A Bad Break Up

making The Most Of A Bad Break Up

It is an awful feeling when your relationship ends so how do you deal with a bad break up? You shouldn't just go on with life and pretend that everything is ok. It's not healthy to deny what you are feeling and keep those feelings bottled up. It is fine to let yourself feel the hurt, in fact it is necessary for you to move on with your life.

You should handle your feelings in a healthy way. If you are feeling anger, it is not a good idea to go and threaten or hurt your ex because of your anger. There are better ways to handle your feelings.

It will take time to get over your ex and for the feelings of hurt and anger to go away. You will be able to move on faster if you use the time constructively and use it as a learning experience in relationship skills. This will be a much healthier way for you to deal with the bad break up and will also benefit you in future relationships.

Take a few days to feel your pain, but do put a time limit on it. You don't want to fall into a depression because you can't get over the hurt and pain that you are feeling. You will feel anger at some point and there are some ways to let that anger out without hurting anyone.

If you are really angry with your ex then take a picture of them and put it on the wall. Buy some marshmallows and use the marshmallows as darts to throw at the picture. Throw the marshmallows as hard as you can and while you throw them yell at your ex and tell him/her exactly what you think and what you are feeling. Let it all out! It might sound silly to throw marshmallows at a picture but it really is a great way to get out your anger and frustrations. You may even find yourself laughing and much happier when you have finished.

If you find yourself laughing after the marshmallow challenge then you know that your troubles aren't that bad and you will get past them. You will realize that you will survive and that you can handle what you are going through. Breaking up is not the end of the world, but a new beginning. If the relationship has broken up then chances are you just aren't meant to be together and now you can move on and find the real love of your life.

Don't rush out and start dating straight away though or you may find yourself in another bad relationship because it is a rebound relationship. Take some time to enjoy life being single and enjoy who you are for yourself and not for someone else. You will be much stronger now that you have used this bad break up as a learning experience and have improved your own self esteem and confidence. Your future relationships will be much stronger and happier.

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Dr.Monica Watts-Hopkins

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Ending A Relationship With Style

Ending A Relationship With Style

If the time has come to start thinking about ending a relationship there are some things you need to know to do it in style. Even if the trust and respect between the two of you has been long gone, you need to summon it back up and deal with the break up with some class. You will feel better about yourself for doing this much.

Ask them to meet you in a public place for coffee or whatever and when the time comes to end the relationship just say it and get it out on the table. There may be some discussion as to why you want to break up but if the relationship has been on the skids for some time it may not come as a surprise to your soon to be ex.

Never think that ending a relationship by email, text, or over the phone is a good idea. It isn't. The only time this is acceptable is if you think there will be violence then, by all means, do what you have to do to stay safe.

If you know for certain that your soon to be ex will not get violent then have enough respect for yourself to break up with them in person. You will know that you handled the break up with dignity and when they calm down they will respect you for it also.

There really is no way to let someone down easy. The best thing you can do is get it all out on the table so it can be dealt with. Do not prolong the issue. Say what needs to be said, excuse yourself then leave. This is best for both of you. There is no need to stick around and get caught up in a fight.

Do not place the blame on them even if it belongs there. Tell them that you just do not think that the relationship is working out and that you would like to move on. Break ups are hard for all concerned. You may breathe a sigh of relief when it is all over but you will also have some grieving to do even if you are the one initiating the break up. Especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for some time.

Tell them that after the break up you will adopt a no contact policy and if they try to contact you do not pick up the phone or answer any emails or texts. If they continue to try to get in touch with you you may have to consider changing your number. Remove them from all of your contact lists and continue to live your life.

Ending a relationship that is no longer working is really the best thing you can do. You owe it to yourself to be happy. It is time to stop making excuses and start living your life the way you were meant to. When your ex sees the difference then they will see that breaking up was the best thing that could have happened for the both of you.

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Stop Your Divorce Reviews

Stop Your Divorce Reviews

Stop your divorce reviews refers to several sites online that review books on this topic. At these specialized sites you can find reviews on books on divorce all in one place. Basically one stop shopping. Make sure though that the sites you choose to get your reviews are not slanted in one direction or the other and offer you the best divorce review books out there.

The stop your divorce reviews sites you find should tell you that the books they review are not biased in any way and that they will guide you toward the books that will truly help your situation. It wouldn't hurt either if they offered a money back guarantees on the books they sell. You need to be able to trust the information your are getting in this trying time and not have to deal with someone else's BS.

All you need are the right tools to assist you. The wrong tools will only make things worse in the long run. If you needed a screwdriver to tighten a loose screw you would not try to use a saw would you? Nope, I didn't think so. Find the right tools and you should be well on your way to fixing what is broken.

The books you find should be chock full of great ideas and should also be easy to understand with tips that are easy to follow. Sometimes you find material written by experts that you can't make heads nor tails out of because they are full of technical terms and big words that you just do not get.

The authors of these books should know their audience and speak to you like you are human and in need of simple things to do and say to try to repair your marriage not damage it further. Not everyone thinks alike and that is why these books are so popular, to help you get to thinking a different way about marriage and love.

All of the techniques they talk about and show you should be backed by real-life testimonials of the people who have been helped and the results of that help. How many marriages has this author been able to help? One, ten, one hundred, or more. They should tell you their success rate for saving marriages. If they can't then find another book. Your situation is unique and should be treated as such by everyone concerned.

The review site should have some type of rating system in place to rate the books they have on their review list. One to five stars, for example with the best book rating five star and on down from there. Now, do not think that just because a book has been rated with five stars that it is the one for you. Has your type of situation been addressed in the book? If not then you may want to go on to another stop your divorce reviews until you find what you need.

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Dr. D Ivan Young is a renowned Relationship and Holistic Life Coach, Best Selling Author, Motivational Speaker and gifted teacher who conducts life-changing workshops and live events across the globe. Dr. D has developed effective no-nonsense tools that enable women and men of all ages, races, religions and nationalities to take personal authority for their ultimate destiny and overcome seemingly hopeless circumstances.

Dr. D Ivan Young offers Books, Inspirational CD’s and Coaching Services to help equip women and men with the survival skills to resurrect their lives.

Dr. Monica Watts-Hopkins ,(ABD)
Contact Sites !
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How do I stop my Divorce

ow Do I Stop My Divorce
If you are thinking to yourself,"How do I stop my divorce?" then keep reading. This article will give you some pointers on things to do that will actually work. We are going to start by telling you all the usual things that people say when someone's marriage is in trouble.
First, say you are sorry. If you are the one who messed things up to the point of divorce then man-up or woman-up and own what you did. Do not ever play the blame game. It's no one's fault or it's everyone's fault, take your pick. This is the first step in finding the answers to the how do I stop my divorce question.
Next, if you have been in touch with a lawyer then I would suggest that you contact them and cancel everything. No more meetings, no more documenting everything, no more feeling like someone is looking over your shoulder and into everything you do in your life.
When it comes to having contact with your spouse make sure you never beg them to take you back. This is hands down the wrong thing to do. Because they won't and you will just look pathetic and needy. You want to put your marriage back together you need to appear strong and capable of handling anything and everything no matter what your role was in the marriage to begin with.
So, speak with them but keep everything light and do not get into any heavy stuff, especially over the phone. Do you know what they will be doing on the other end of the line? They will be rolling their eyes and making their fingers into the shape of a gun and pretending to shoot themselves in the head because you have become way too much like work and they do not have any time for you at all any more.
You could try to ask them out for coffee or lunch, too. If they accept once again remember to keep it light. If you have taken some time to make things about you better you may have run into some information that told you that you could try some reverse psychology type stuff on your spouse.
When they make a statement, agree with them. They have to have been right at some point in the marriage so let them be again, now. If you want to reduce the level of stress in the room and at the table then try this. Whatever comes out of their mouth, agree with it. Even if they say what a jerk they think you are, agree with it.
People in a relationship just want to matter. They want to have some say in things and that their opinion is important, too. I do not care if you have to fake it till you make it, so to speak. You need to peel their negative feelings off like and onion and if you can do that then you can find the nice loving person and their feelings underneath it all. All they want is for you to want the same things that they do. Try it, see if it works to answer your, "how do I stop my divorce", question

I should had Cheated !!

Affair Relationships-Cheating, Affair Its All The Same
Relationships can be fickle things, that is why we try so hard to keep them intact. Since we can not read peoples minds or understand their true feelings, we are left struggling to get along as best we can. That is simply the nature of being human.
But because of those limitations we have to pay extra attention to how we interact. When you get into a relationship with someone it requires time and dedication. You have to put in the effort to get to know them and understand them.
However, what happens when you are not as interested in that person as you originally thought? What if they simply do not fulfill all your needs? By that point you may already be in a long standing relationship with that person.

Although they may not meet all your expectations, you probably still love them and do not want to hurt them. This is where many affair relationships happen. You are left wanting more but you still want your partner, so you wander off the path and go find someone else in an attempt to satisfy your urges.
You probably do not mean to harm your partner, you just wanted something more. Unfortunately that does not matter. Whether you intended to or not, you did indeed cause your partner great harm. Because of your inability to control your urges they are left with the emotional pain that comes from betrayal.
The key here is control. You might not be entirely fulfilled and this is where you have to stop and let logic take over. Ask yourself if you truly love this person, if you do then you have to control your urges and not betray them.
If you find yourself not as in love as you once were, do not stay out of guilt. So many people make this mistake, they find out that they are not truly in love with the person but by then it is too late. Since they do not want to hurt their partner they try to have a secret affair relationships.
Believe me, in causes them far more pain to have an affair behind their back then if you had simply broken up with them. Honesty and respect are fundamental aspects of a relationship, by having an affair you walk all over those tenants.
So if you determine that you simply are not in love with your partner anymore, be honest about your feelings and tell them that the relationship is over. Do it as gently as possible but do not allow yourself to remain in the relationship out of fear of hurting them.
Once out of that relationship you are free to pursue other people, hopefully finding someone that gives you all the fulfillment you crave.
No matter what the reason for an affair, always remember that it is about the single most hurtful thing you can ever do in a relationship. If you love your partner, or even just respect them, then an affair might not be the best choice. Instead let them go and move on, it will be better for everyone involved.


Dr.Monica Watts-Hopkins

MPsyD-c , MAHS MFT(ABD), CLOA Practitioner, FLE, BSHA

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