Sunday, November 11, 2012

Saving A Relationship-Can You Still Remember The Good Times

Saving A Relationship-Can You Still Remember The Good Times

It's a safe bet that there was a time that two of you were happier than you are now. Things used to be better, but now you are at a point where you are concerned about saving a relationship. The good news is that the odds are in your favor, but only if you follow the right steps and are determined to make it happen. Before you start putting any effort into saving your relationship, you need to make sure that you really want to save it. Now, you may be thinking that's a pretty stupid point because you wouldn't be reading this otherwise. However, it's quite common for people to think they want to save their relationship, when in reality, they are afraid of being alone. There's a big difference between those two ideas. From this point forward, we will assume that you want your relationship to be saved. There is a well-known phrase that says "those who ignore history are condemned to repeat it." To put it another way, you need to stop making the same mistakes if you want things to get better. The only way for that to happen is to know exactly what those mistakes were in the first place. This can take some digging, as you need to get to the root of the problem. Don't assume that your initial reaction is what's really wrong. Your initial reactions are typically nothing more than symptoms of your real problems.

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Once you have an idea of the true cause of strife in your relationship, you need to work on a solution. Keep in mind that the only person that you can change is yourself. If your partner is the main source of the problems, then you need to figure out a way to make it less of a problem. You will need to have an open conversation with them and see what can be done. Depending on the circumstances, you have a few basic choices if your partner did something wrong. You can get their word that they will change, you can pretend it didn't happen, or you can forgive them. If they promise to do better, then that's great, but you should watch to make sure that they are backing up their words with action. Pretending nothing happened seems like the easy way out, but it's not really a way out at all, as it will only lead to the same things happening again and again. Forgiving them can be hard to do, but it brings the most relief. These things are only a good start to saving a relationship, but they are a good start. Keep seeking more information on making things work, and be sure to take action. Over time, your relationship will get better, and any effort you invest in making it so will come back to you in pleasantly unexpected ways.