Passion, Bond and Trust

It is not uncommon, during a ladies night out or shopping to hear my peers complain about wanting to be closer to their spouse, lover or partner and want more love, passion, bond and trust. Many acknowledge that they can all improve communicating and connecting with their partner, and just do not know where or how to start? Most of us feel that way at some time in our relationships and lives.
Communication Most couples have resigned themselves to ambivalent, bland relationships full of unspoken secrets and unmet needs, but it doesn't have to be that way! One of the important areas and interventions in Worthington's (2005) book that I learned in the chapter four was concerning communication in which couples present to counseling experiencing lack of love, present communication problems. When communication between partners fades, so does love, hope, and faith in the marriage (Worthington, 2005, p. 64). The role of the counselor is to facilitate improved communication between partners in order to facilitate love, hope, and faith in the marriage union, thus inspiring the couple to continue working on the marriage. Sometimes it is a one-time challenge and other times you have been in a pattern of non-communicating or mis-communicating and one just does not know how to get out of it. Helping couples to understand this pattern is a significant factor to rebuilding closeness. Often, couples enter a marriage with different learned patterns of communication, sometimes patters that are at odds with one another. In order to facilitate better communication patterns between the couple, it is the counselor’s responsibility to engage the couple in understanding their personal and marital communication patterns and evaluate what works in their situation (Worthington, 2005, p. 65)
Closeness
One thing we've discovered about the differences between men and women when it comes to love, relationships and sexual intimacy, in which is the stereo type that women want to be "romanced." The trouble is each spouse may have a remarkably different idea about what that means, thus the problem. “Closeness is necessary for a healthy marriage, yet the types and levels needed varies from one marriage to another, from partner to anther and sometimes from one moment to the next” (Worthington, 2005, p. 68) As closeness and intimacy is often so closely related to a person’s personal feelings of love, it is vital to help the couple track and understand that a loss of love is not inevitably final. I think when partners get on the same page or balance, both partners get what they want in their relationships and marriages. According to Worthington, Jr.,” Each person needs to establish a unique balance among distance, coaction, and intimacy (Worthington, 2005, p. 68)

Reference:
Worthington, E. L. (2005). Hope-focused marriage counseling: A guide to brief therapy. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Continued Marriage Priorities

All Rights Monica Watts-Hopkins Baldwin , Universal Image LLC.

Dr Monica Hopkins-Baldwin-Candidate
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